Tips for parents and caregivers to support children through Trauma and ACEs

It is important to know that parents/caregivers play a critical role in buffering the impact of childhood trauma and building their child’s resilience. Research has found that creating positive experiences with your child and being a caring, consistent adult in your child’s life can serve as a protective factor against adversity. 

Don’t be afraid to talk about the trauma 

Children do not benefit from ‘putting it out of their minds.’ Talk about the incident in a calm manner. If a child feels that their parents are upset about the event, they will not want to talk about it. This may make the child’s recovery even more difficult. 

Let the child lead the conversation. When the child brings it up or seems to be thinking about it, it is important to provide space for open discussions. Let your child ease into talking about the event at their own pace and listen to them while answering questions in a developmentally appropriate manner, while also providing comfort and support. 

Listen and support 

We often have no adequate explanations about senseless death or traumatic events. In the end, just listening to and comforting your child will have long-lasting positive effects on your child’s ability to cope with the traumatic event. It’s okay to let children see that you are sad or upset, especially when you name the emotions you are experiencing for them (i.e., “I am feeling sad that our dog passed away because I will miss him so much”). It helps the child increase their emotion literacy and normalizes feelings. 

Create a sense of safety and control 

Allow for the child to regain a sense of control that they may have lost after a traumatic event. Parents can provide the child with choices on tasks, such as picking out their clothes for the day or their snacks. 

Keep a predictable routine going for the child that helps them feel safe. You can elicit their feedback when creating this schedule and then post it somewhere in the home where they can see it and refer to it.  

Seek professional help if necessary 

For children who continue to show signs of trauma for months afterward, they may have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It is important to seek professional help if you are worried your child might have PTSD. 

A therapist, such as a psychologist, social worker or counselor, can help your child understand and manage her moods and feelings. Effective treatments for PTSD include evidence-based therapy (such as, Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy; TF-CBT) or a combination of therapy and medicine. 

Get immediate help if your child expresses thoughts about wanting to kill themselves, harm themselves, or is saying scary things, call 911 or bring your child to the nearest emergency department.