Brianna Miller is a 22-year-old from Southern California who was diagnosed with Stage 2 Hodgkin’s lymphoma shortly before her 21st birthday. She is a patient at CHOC Hospital. In this five-part series, she takes readers along on her look back at her journey with cancer.
If there’s one thing I’ve come to know more intimately over the last year than I did before, is that cancer makes people uncomfortable. I completely understand. It can be hard to know the right things to say, the best way to react to bad news, and how best be supportive. Along with all the bad things that accompany cancer, however, there are a lot of things that happen and you can’t help but laugh. I want people to know that it’s completely okay to find humor in cancer!
When I was first coming to grips with the impending side effects of chemo, I found that an effective way to ease my anxiety was making jokes to help make light of my situation. I’ve always been easygoing, and this developed into a sense of humor during treatment. If we’re being honest, going from having long hair to being completely bald is shocking but also can be funny! I kept hair ties on my wrist even after I had no hair and would reach for the brush just out of habit. I would often make jokes about being bald, and my friends would always redirect and reassure me that my hair would grow back. Of course, I knew that my hair would grow back, but that didn’t mean that I couldn’t have a little joke at my own expense in the meantime! Now that my hair has started to grow back, it looks kind of funky- I like to call it my “baby Orangutan” look. I know it looks funny, so someone reassuring me that it doesn’t really just makes me internally cringe. I understand the impulse to make someone feel better, but if I’m lucky, I’ll only have to do this whole cancer thing once in my life- might as well make it interesting while I do!
Of course, it’s never okay to make fun of a cancer patient’s trials or downplay their experience, but to consistently only talk to a patient about their experience in a serious tone can be quite frankly boring and frustrating. I’ve found so many great, sarcastic memes and apparel from other members in a Hodgkin lymphoma support group on Facebook and through other groups like Stupid Cancer, and they never fail to bring a smile to my face. My personal favorite was my Halloween costume last year, Charlie Brown. I figured I might as well take advantage of the baldness while I had it!
I think it’s important for people to realize that if a cancer patient is making light of their situation or making jokes, it’s perfectly okay for them to join in too! Sometimes long hospital stays or hard chemo days can be bleak and tiring, and bringing humor into the situation can help immensely. You have to do what is best for you.
CHOC Hospital was named one of the nation’s best children’s hospitals by U.S. News & World Report in its 2020-21 Best Children’s Hospitals rankings and ranked in the cancer specialty.