Clinically reviewed by Baleska Alfaro, a licensed mental health therapist at CHOC, now part of Rady Children’s Health
Why back-to-school anxiety is more common than ever
Going back to school can be exciting, but it can also make some children feel nervous or worried. This is called back-to-school anxiety. Many children feel this way, and it has become more common in recent years, especially after the changes caused by the pandemic.
For example, children have had to go from learning and seeing their teachers online to returning to school and interacting with people in person. This change can feel stressful because they have to settle into being in the classroom again, seeing friends face-to-face, and following new routines after spending a long time learning at home and not interacting with many people. Whether your child is starting at a new school or simply feels anxious about being away from home, these feelings can be common and understandable.
The good news is that most children feel better after a few weeks, and with support from their caregivers, they can start the year feeling calmer and ready.
What might be causing the anxiety?
Some common reasons children feel anxious about school include:
- Bullying – feeling unsafe or picked on
- Separation anxiety – not wanting to be apart from parents
- Learning problems – feeling embarrassed or frustrated in class
Understanding the real cause helps you know how to best support your child.
How can caregivers help?
Start by calming yourself first. Children notice when adults feel worried or stressed. If you feel nervous about the new school year, your child might feel it too. Take time to relax and manage your stress. When you feel calm, your child is more likely to feel safe and supported.
Get back into a routine early
To make the first day of school easier, start your school-year routine a few weeks early. This can look like:
- Going to bed and waking up at the same time each day
- Eating regular meals
- Setting limits to when and for how long children can have screen time each day
Doing this helps your child’s body and brain get ready for school again.
Listen to their worries
If your child says they feel nervous, take time to listen. Say something like, “I know it can be hard to meet new teachers.” This helps them feel understood. Then, you can talk about ways to handle their worries together.
Make a plan for tricky moments
Talk with your child about things at school that might make them feel nervous. Practice how they can handle those situations. You can even act it out together. This practice, known as “Coping Ahead,” helps your child feel ready and strong before those moments happen.
Worries can feel like being sick
Sometimes, school anxiety shows up as feeling sick, like a stomachache or headache—especially in the morning. Your child might say they feel too sick to go to school. It’s important to check with a doctor to make sure they’re not really sick. If the doctor says everything is fine, it may be anxiety causing the symptoms.
Even if it’s hard, helping your child go to school is important. Skipping school can make the fear stronger. But if these feelings last, it’s time to look more closely at what’s bothering them.
Tips to make the first day easier
If your child is nervous about starting school, try these ideas:
- Visit the school before the first day
- Meet the teacher(s) ahead of time
- Ask a trusted adult to greet your child at school
- Set up playdates with friends before school starts
- Plan fun outings, like a trip to the park or a movie, during the first few weekends of school
Praise your child after they do something brave. This builds their confidence.
Signs your child might need more help
Some anxiety is common, but sometimes it becomes a bigger problem. Watch for signs like:
- Big meltdowns when it’s time to go to school
- Trouble getting along with family or friends
- Consistently avoiding school or fun activities
- Complaining a lot about stomachaches or not sleeping well
If you notice these things, it may be time to get extra help. You can reach out to your child’s primary care provider or pediatrician for mental health referrals, contact your insurance company to find therapists covered under your plan, or connect with the school’s therapist, counselor, or psychologist for additional help.
When to ask for more help
If your child still feels very anxious after school starts, or if they keep feeling sick or refuse to go to school, talk to a mental health professional. They can help your child work through their worries and feel better about going to school.
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Get mental health resources from CHOC pediatric experts
The mental health team at CHOC curated the following resources on mental health topics common to kids and teens, such as depression, anxiety, suicide prevention and more.
